|attempt at a life update?
||[Mar. 13th, 2009|12:45 am]
New job. I fucking hate it but love it at the same time. I am the assistant manager at the Claire's at Highland mall. I love it because I get paid pretty well, the people are cool, we get an awesome discount, and working at an extremely ghetto mall gives me diplomatic immunity to say whatever I want to the ghetto trash that tries to start shit with me.
BUT I fucking hate it because of the ghetto fucking people that start shit with me. I have worked there for two months and I have already gotten into at least 10 screaming matches with ghetto trash. The first weekend I worked I really got into it with these bitches. They were calling us honkies and ugly ass mexican bitches (for telling them not to cuss in the store in front of all the kids) so I told them to leave in which they started screaming "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING UGLY ASS RACIST BITCH! ITS BECAUSE WE'RE BLACK! FUCKING NAZI KKK BLAH BLAH BLAH UGLY BITCH!" etc etc etc. WHATEVER. This is like an every day occurrence at my job. And don't even get me started on the shoplifters. My boss caught a shoplifter the other weekend and she hit him! And then threatened to kill me! And TRIED TO TAKE HER SHIRT OFF! I have dealt with so many shitty fucking people it is insane. And im at the point in my life where I am too old and too fucking fed up with people to be like "Oh im so sorry you feel that way here is a check for a million dollars. I am sooo sorry. Have a nice day." Nowadays, if someone at my job talks shit at me, I say whatever the hell I want to get them out of my face. Too old for that shit.
And I work at a goth club too, people. I work door at a goth club and I deal with nicer people there than I do at Claire's!
Enough about that. I'm a junior in college right now, but it's going to take me two years to graduate instead of one. I had to drop a class because the TA gave me 4 zeros on papers for writing the wrong date. Too old for that shit, too. I don't even really know what I want to do anymore. My whole life plan was to get my PhD in forensic anthropology and work in a crime lab. But, the further I get into school the more I realize that I hate school. Sometimes I think that maybe I should take an entirely different career path. Sometimes I think that maybe I should be a cop. It seems like the perfect job for someone that hates people. A cop once told me that I'd make a really good cop because I don't take any shit and I have no sympathy for people who don't deserve any.
I don't know how or why, but over the past year I have found myself growing more and more bitter, hateful, and reclusive. I am 20 years old. I could do so much with my life right now. Seize the day. I could be writing, painting (i've been invited to do an art show at Rio Rita several times but I can't even finish anything), listening to more records, meeting new people....
But alas, I am sitting at home, surrounded by cats that keep licking me because I just got out of the bath, and watching a show called "super obese" about people who are super obese.
Aside from that gloomy what-am-i-doing-with-my-life shit, everything else is going pretty good. SXSW is coming up, the wedding plans are coming along nicely, money is good, and I am usually pretty content.
ok next update will be less depressing i promise